Good morning friends. I thought I'd share valuable information from a past N.Y. Times article which may help if you are experiencing problems with an ageing parent and a out of town family member.
It is no surprise to caregivers that as parents age, longstanding tension can erupt into family discord. A 2001 study found that close to 40% of adult children caring for a parent described "serious conflict" with a sibling. This frequently results in one sibling shouldering the bulk of care giving responsibility. Despite mutual concern for a parent's well-being, adult children have often lived apart for decades and have little experience working together. Visits, end-of-life decisions and estate planning all become sources of sibling strife when old rivalries begin to pay out. Lord knows that I experienced similar conflict as my siblings lived up north and I was my mother's only care giver.
It's not just adult children....Caregiving can strain relationships inside the family and out. There are now mediators available who can temper the situation, hash out misunderstandings and, perhaps most importantly, help head off estrangements.
A good mediator can delve right to the bottom of things, parse out the important issues and help the family deal with them. It's different from therapy because it is really about decision-making, not feelings and emotions.
Elder care mediation can be tricky, as mediators must balance the opinions of many parties, not only adult children but in-laws, home care aides and sometimes grandchildren. A mediator generally should be trained in such subjects as the physical and mental effects of aging and how to communicate effectively with the elderly.
If you think you might benefit from employing a mediator to diplomatically solve your family issues you might start by going to: www.Mediate.com which allows prospective clients search elder mediators by state. Have you hired a mediator? I welcome your comments below. Thank you.
Posted: 11th of February, 2016 by Olga Brunner
Labels: mediation. elder care mediation. attorney mediators
I Have worn many hats in my day: Nursing Home Assistant Admin and Activities Director, Assisted Living Admin, Case Management for the State-wide Medicaid Program, and Trainer for Dept of Elder Affairs.